Kane Page 12

  She stopped walking and cut me off. “Don’t. I know you’re about to apologize, and that’s not why I’m here.” Her eyes met mine. “I wish you’d have told me about Bennett.”

  Tears stung my eyes, so I blinked them back. “I’m sorry. Stella, you’re my best friend. I never meant to hurt you.”

  “Well, you did. But not because of Bennett or because it was some kind of competition of who he would pick. I was hurt because I’ve waited so long for you to meet someone. I just wanted the chance to be happy for you. I still want to be happy for you.”

  Is that what I’d been afraid of? Knowing if I’d shared Bennett with Stella, he might have chosen her over me? Having to compete for him?

  “Then you understand why I want to be happy for you,” I replied. “And I’ve never seen you so happy over a guy.”

  My heart broke all over again. I wanted this for Stella. Even if her happiness meant giving up the only man I’d ever cared for. A car passed by and honked. Stella and I turned and waved at the driver.

  “Rie, I liked Bennett. He’s funny and charming and sweet and one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen… but that’s it. I don’t know him. Not the way you obviously do.”

  The first tear fell. Stella grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. “If I’m honest, I think I liked him so much because he showed absolutely no interest in me. And that’s never happened before.” She pulled back and looked me in the eye. “It was new. He was a challenge. That’s it. I’ve already met someone else.” She shook her head and laughed. “What can I say? I’m hopeless.”

  “Yeah, well… so am I apparently. He’s probably already moved onto the next girl, while I’m over here stalking his Instagram and re-reading three-week-old text messages.”

  “You and I both know that’s not true.”

  “Really? Because I could’ve sworn you told me he was a one and done kind of guy.”

  Stella rolled her eyes and shook her head. “You ready for the truth?”

  I shrugged. Then I looked around for a place to dig a decent hole because if she was about to tell me she’d hooked up with Bennett, I needed somewhere to bury my cold, dead heart.

  “I think Bennett used to be that guy. Maybe he even still wanted to be that guy. But, Rie… One glimpse at the way he looked at you and even I could tell he was a goner.”

  I laughed through a sniffle then wiped my cheek. If Stella could admit that a guy was into me and wanted nothing to do with her, there had to be something there. Right? “Have I told you lately that I love you?”

  “Like a white girl loves pumpkin spice lattes,” she said with a grin.

  “You know you had me at latte.”

  She looped her arm through mine and rested her head on my shoulder. We finished walking the trail around the courtyard. We passed the gazebo. Shane had packed up his guitar and left, thank goodness.

  “Nothing happened? Really?” I asked and she laughed.

  Stella lifted her head and looked me in the eyes. “You mean besides the awkward dance that he apologized for afterward?”

  I couldn’t imagine Bennett Kane apologizing for anything.

  “Nothing happened. Really,” she assured me. “Now… I want to hear all about him. How’d you meet? What was he doing here? Where is he now? And don’t leave out a single detail…”

  I spent the next thirty minutes filling Stella in on all the details about Bennett Kane. By the time I got to the part where he walked away, we were both in tears.

  “You have to get him back, Rie.”

  Now that I knew the truth about Stella’s feelings, there was nothing I wanted more. I just needed to figure out how.

  For the third night in a row, I woke up covered in sweat. The nightmares were back and stronger than ever. I closed my eyes and saw everything all over again—felt everything all over again. And this time, I didn’t have Korie’s voice to calm the storm that raged within.

  I’d thought it would be a good idea to write it all down, flush it out of my system. I’d tell my story and make sure Korie read it. All of it, even the ugly parts. Then maybe I could move on—maybe we could move on. I was wrong. I ended up secluding myself into a corner of my loft and shutting out the rest of the world. Days had gone by, maybe even a week. I didn’t know anymore. I counted five boxes of take-out on the kitchen counter when I made my morning coffee.

  Coffee.

  Coffee made me think of Korie, and that made me want to write more. I’d begun adding in bits and pieces of how meeting her had changed me. Once I started, I didn’t want to stop. The only reason I took a break and went into work today was because Gabby called to let me know Julian Hayes was coming in this morning.

  The sun spilled into my office through the wall of windows, leaving me no choice but to welcome the new day. At home, I’d kept the curtains closed and never went outside. I’d begun to welcome the darkness. I supposed in a way it started to consume me. I opened my laptop and began typing up the final drafts for Julian to sign.

  “Mr. Kane, you have a visitor,” Gabby’s voice sounded over the intercom.

  Before I pressed the button to ask who it could be, my sister flung open the heavy wooden door.

  “What the fuck, Jess?” I blurted out.

  Jess flew across the room and slammed her hands on top of my desk. “You haven’t taken my calls. You don’t answer your door. Jayce hasn’t heard from you in over a week. Gabby says you don’t even come to work anymore.”

  I glanced over the top of my computer screen to see tears welled up in her eyes. And the douchebag of the year award goes to… Bennett Kane.

  “Thank God Gabby went along with the Julian thing,” she added then stood up straight and folded her arms across her chest.

  “Wait, you set me up?”

  Of course. I wondered how she knew I was at the office today. I had to give it to her. She was sneakier than I gave her credit for.

  “How else would I have gotten your attention? What is going on with you, Ben?”

  “I’ve been writing.”

  “Bullsh—”

  I held a finger up in the air. “Language.”

  Jess was a grown woman now, but in so many ways I still felt more like her dad than her older brother. Maybe because I always had been.

  She exhaled a heavy sigh. “Fine. Let me read it.”

  “No.”

  “No?” She tapped her foot against the carpet.

  I closed my laptop. Julian wasn’t really coming. “It’s… personal.”

  Jess walked around and propped one hip against the side of my desk. “Just tell me, Ben. Are you okay? I’m worried about you.”

  “I’m fine.”

  The look on her face said she didn’t believe me. I’d spent my whole life hiding it all. From her. From the world. From myself. It took going to Florida with Jess and letting her dredge up buried feelings and meeting Korie to make me realize that I didn’t want to hide anymore. I didn’t have to hide anymore.

  “I met someone,” I admitted, and Jess’ eyes lit up when she smiled. “But it got rough and I walked away when I should’ve stayed and fought.”

  Jess grabbed my hand. “The thing about walking away is that you can always turn around and walk right back.”

  “It’s not that simple, Jess.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because walking away is what I do best. It always has been. I walked away from Clover Creek when I couldn’t take the sympathetic stares anymore. I never knew if the people I was with actually cared or if they just felt sorry for the guy who had no parents. I walked away from Grandma when it became obvious that all she wanted from us was the paycheck the state sent her every month. I walk away from people before they can ask about my past or drool over the money I make. I don’t get close. I don’t let people in. I walk away because staying hurts too much.”

  Jess blinked back tears. “Being alone hurts more.” She put her hand on my cheek and smiled a weak smile.

  I hated the thought tha
t my little sister ever felt like she was alone. I’d tried so hard to make sure she never felt the pain that our mother put me through. I’d spent nights waiting up as a child while Mom chased my father around town. Most nights I’d had cereal for dinner, if I even ate at all. Jess was eleven when our parents died, and even though we’d stayed with our grandmother until I was old enough to leave, I was the one who made sure Jess never went to bed hungry and never felt alone.

  “I never wanted you to feel that way,” I said as I stood.

  “Not me, silly. I meant you. You make me feel safe… and loved… and anything but alone. I know you’re hurting. And I know you think walking away is what you do, but I’m proof that it isn’t. You could’ve walked away from me a dozen times. But you didn’t. I love you, Ben. I always will.”

  I pulled her in for a hug. “I love you too.”

  My office door slammed shut, and Jess jumped. Gabby must have thought we wanted some privacy.

  I laughed. “I make you feel safe, huh?”

  She shoved my chest and shrugged. “Most of the time.”

  “I’m really going to miss you.”

  “I’m going to miss you too. But you can always come visit, you know,” she said with a wink.

  “Right. Because small towns are my jam.”

  “I have a feeling this one will start to grow on you.” She popped up on her tiptoes and kissed me on the cheek. “Now… I have some packing to finish and you have a girl to walk back to.” She turned and walked toward the door.

  I tucked my hands into my pockets and looked out the windows. White, fluffy clouds filled the bright blue sky. The sunshine warmed me from the inside out and made me smile. For the first time in weeks, I felt hopeful. I didn’t know about Sycamore Park, but Hickory Falls had definitely started to grow on me. I’d almost finished my manuscript. I was ready to tell Korie everything. I was tired of running. I guessed it was time to start walking.

  Stella had done some intense detective work and found the address for Bennett’s office in Houston. By “intense detective work,” I mean she’d asked Claire. The next thing I knew, I stood in the lobby of a high-rise in the middle of downtown waiting for the elevator to arrive and take me to the tenth floor. I didn’t tell Bennett I was coming because I was afraid he wouldn’t want to see me. I wore the black dress he liked so much and made sure my lips were his favorite shade of red. I’d made myself impossible to ignore. Or so, I’d thought…

  His secretary was busy with a phone call, so I’d just walked on past her. I didn’t care. I couldn’t wait another minute. I was too excited to see him again, too ready to tell him I’d made a mistake, too hopeful he’d understand and forgive me for being an idiot.

  The door to his office was wide open. I was relieved I wouldn’t have to knock and wait for an answer, but I’d stopped dead in my tracks as soon as I hit the doorway. His tall, masculine frame towered over a petite woman who just so happened to be a gorgeous female version of him. Of course, the universe would put these two perfect people together. Thanks, Universe. Bennett wrapped the woman in his arms and pulled her close.

  I’d heard it all. Every heartbreaking, gut-wrenching word.

  “You make me feel safe… and loved… and anything but alone. I know you’re hurting. And I know you think walking away is what you do, but I’m proof that it isn’t. You could’ve walked away from me a dozen times. But you didn’t. I love you, Ben. I always will.”

  “I love you too.”

  I stumbled backward, bumping into the door and slamming it shut. The secretary shouted something to me as I ran for the stairs. I didn’t even want to wait on the elevator. I didn’t want to take the chance of him coming out of his office and seeing me.

  She’d called him “Ben.” They were close, and had been for a while, obviously.

  “I love you too.”

  I’d taken off my shoes and rushed down all seventeen flights of stairs. Tears stung my eyes and my breath stung my lungs. With every step I took, I heard his voice telling another woman the words I’d heard so many times in my dreams. And with those four little words, my heart was shattered.

  Two days later, I posted a picture of the interior of Common Ground right before we started the remodel.

  Korie_Lawson

  Here I am—waking up another day with coffee instead of your smile.

  I didn’t know if Bennett would see it, or if he would even care. But I missed him. My world was changing, and I wanted to share that with him—even if he shared his heart with someone else.

  Alyssa and I worked until after dark every night the following week helping the contractors with the bookstore addition. I’d never been so excited and simultaneously depressed about anything.

  My next Instagram post was of the bench we shared in the square.

  Korie_Lawson

  The mind erases the words you said. The body untraces where your fingertips led. But the heart… the heart never forgets.

  Even though I wish it could.

  I’d almost given up. Bennett hadn’t posted, and I didn’t have the energy to share my life with the world right now. Then one day, Bennett posted too. This time it was a picture of him. He was lying in bed, his tanned skin and dark hair rested against a stark white pillow. He put his face out there for the world to see, and oh my God, what a beautiful face it was. He looked peaceful. He looked content. In his eyes, I still saw a sadness, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss it away. But that wasn’t my job anymore. Maybe it never was.

  bennett.kane.

  The only thing that helps me sleep is knowing that in my dreams I’ll see your face.

  It felt like it was meant for me, but I knew there was no way that could be true—not after what I’d seen and heard at his office that day. But why would he have to dream of someone he could hold in his arms for real?

  That’s it, Korie, you’re losing your mind. I chalked it up to being too hopeful and working too late. Bennett Kane had moved on, and it was time for me to do the same.

  Two weeks later…

  The last thing I had expected to encounter at work today was all the pieces of my broken heart standing in the doorway and wrapped in an Armani suit.

  The scent of freshly baked cookies and coffee brewing filled the corner nook of my cozy little coffee shop/bookstore. I had settled into my favorite comfy linen chair with an advanced copy of an upcoming release. Getting lost in the words was my favorite pastime, especially since imaginary romance was the only kind I’d probably ever get. The door opened, and I didn’t look up right away because I expected Alyssa any minute now. But it wasn’t Alyssa who walked in.

  I smelled him before I ever saw him.

  My eyes fell closed, savoring the memory of that scent.

  I heard his voice before he ever spoke a word. I remembered it, the deep timbre, the seductive inflection. I never thought I’d hear it again. That seemed like a lifetime ago, when things were different.

  I opened my eyes, and the book tumbled to the ground.

  It was him.

  It had always been him. Every page of every story I’d read always led me back to thoughts of him. And now, nearly two months after I let him go, Bennett Kane just walked back into my life.

  “I heard about a brand-new bookstore opening up inside a coffee shop and couldn’t resist the urge to drop this off,” he said.

  He held a large yellow envelope in his hand. My body said, “Get over there and kiss him, you idiot,” but my brain said, “there’s no way this is real.” I’d seen him with the woman at his office. She’d said she loved him, and he’d said it back. So why was he here?

  He weaved his way through a cluster of round tables to the back of the store where I sat. His dark eyes settled on mine. My heart hammered in my chest. This was definitely real.

  “A list of recipes for book nerds?”

  He didn’t laugh. I didn’t blame him. I wasn’t in the mood to be funny. Sarcasm was my mind’s natural reflex.

  His eyes never mo
ved from mine. Everything about him was intense, from his navy-blue suit to the way the muscle twitched in his jaw. “It’s a manuscript. Unedited. Raw. But I’d like you to read it.”

  He wrote another book?

  His fingers brushed mine when I took the envelope from his hand. My whole body came alive at a simple touch. He swallowed hard, and I knew then that he’d felt it too.

  “You didn’t come all this way just to drop off a manuscript.”

  He tucked his hands into his pockets and took a step back. He probably felt guilty. My stomach fell.

  “Yes.” He exhaled a huff of breath and his mouth curved in the briefest of smiles. “I did.”

  I sat up straight and moved to the edge of the chair. He took another step toward the door. I wanted to reach out and grab him, to beg him to stay. I had so much to say. I had so many questions. Starting with how he could fall in love with another woman three weeks after getting naked with me. I’d planned it all out in my head for the next time I saw him. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

  “You should stay for a cup of coffee at least,” I offered then regretted it, thinking I might be tempted to poison him. Then, of course, I’d fall to my knees beside him and suck the poison from his lips because let’s face it, I was a woman in love and mood swings came with the territory.

  Bennett smiled but kept walking. He stopped just before he reached the door. “I wish I could but… There’s somewhere else I need to be.”

  Right. And it was probably somewhere with her. I stood and walked toward him. He was so close, after all this time, and still he felt miles away. I did this. I pushed him away, and now he was gone.

  I forced myself to smile as he pushed the door open. “Thanks… for the manuscript.”

  “Just promise me you’ll read it.”

  I nodded. Then the door slid shut and Bennett disappeared around the corner. Just like that, he was gone as quickly as he’d come. And I felt more alone than ever.